I’ve heard it said many times that bitterness is like drinking poison convinced that it’s going to kill the other person.
It’s such a good analogy that contains a very powerful truth.
When we are persistent in holding onto an offense, it will eventually lead to the death of the relationship.
It most likely won’t happen right away. Instead, it will commence slowly over time. So gradual that you won’t even notice the daily deterioration.
Then one day it will hit you that what you have neglected to deal with has damaged your soul and destroyed your relationship with another human being.
“A kingdom divided by civil war will collapse. Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart.”
– Mark 3:24-25, NLT
At this point, you and I have to ask, was it worth it?
I have a daily reminder of this in my kitchen. Years ago, I noticed a puddle of water coming from our freezer and spreading over our hardwood floors.
I’ll be honest, I’m not the best fix it guy. So when something breaks in the house, my default response tends to be, ‘If I try to fix it, I’ll probably make it worse.’
So I let it go.
Each day I wiped up the water thinking that the freezer door must have been left open. I realize how little sense it makes that the door would be ajar every single day, but nonetheless that was my justification.
Then one day I walked into the room and saw the effects of a little bit of consistent liquid over a long period of time. With the culmination of each day, water had eroded that part of the floor as well as some of the trim on the side of the refrigerator.
This finally created such a sense of urgency and I took fixing it more seriously. But the marring had already taken place.
This same thing can happen in our relationships. When they are fractured and we don’t tend to them, resentment can set in or we can simply just drift apart.
The longer we let it go, the more disconnected things become. And if we continue down that road, eventually we will realize that a relationship that we once held dear has deteriorated into near extinction.
I wish this was just a hypothetical situation, but unfortunately it is not. There are many friendships in my life that I have seen disappear as a result of my passivity.
Relationships take work. And conflict with those whom we love and care about is inevitable. That’s why it is so important to reconcile with people as soon as we can.
In the same way that a gardener must daily tend to his garden to prevent pests and disease, we must continually tend to and invest in our relationships. When we notice that something is out of line, we must address it promptly to prevent further damage.
“When once the light breaks and the conviction of wrong comes, be a child of the light, and confess, and God will deal with what is wrong; if you vindicate yourself, you prove yourself to be a child of the darkness.”
– Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest
Remember this:
You and I were created to be in relationship. So don’t be afraid of or ignore the messes. Make every effort to step into them with humility and allow God to bring healing.
